


Wishing well on the wishing well

by marras



Series: wishing well [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-26
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-25 22:06:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3826711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marras/pseuds/marras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Goodbyes are hard,<br/>bitter, even<br/>especially when your feelings,<br/>tear you into two.</p><p>But no matter,<br/>I will wish you well,<br/>on the wishing well.</p><p>Or:<br/>When Marco asks Jean to meet him less than eight hours before his flight departs, Jean cannot say no.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wishing well on the wishing well

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jellyfishfrost](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyfishfrost/gifts).



Marco Bott.  
19 years, two months.  
My best friend since childhood.  
The one that I love.  
  
I used to call him the star boy when we were kids, because of a bunch of freckles on his left shoulder that form a perfect big dipper - the first constellation I ever learned by name. Marco loved that name, he did. So when he was eighteen, he tattooed those freckles into a permanent constellation onto his skin, hidden from gazes behind his t-shirt sleeves. But I knew that it was there, I did. For he smiled and lifted his sleeve a day after, telling me, _I will now be a star boy for ever._  
  
I had wanted to cry there and then, looking at his pretty face and that beaming smile. Because it was when I realised that this _whatever_ I had been feeling towards him, it wouldn’t go away. I loved him, I really did. I always have. I always will.  
  
It’s been a year and I want to cry again. This time because he’s leaving the country. He’s leaving it tomorrow. Or to be more exact, he’s leaving in 7 hours and 32 minutes and he wants to meet me. For the last time, you know the drill. Sad goodbyes ahead, I guessed.  
I hated sad goodbyes.  
  
I was a little surprised when he called me, thinking that he’d already be asleep or treasuring the last night he had with his family for a good half a year. Or one, if he couldn’t afford to come back for Christmas. Or even longer, if he found a good summer job at his new place.  
Maybe it’d be two years.  
Three.  
Maybe he’d forget me while he’s away.  
  
You see, Marco’s a year older than I am. So even though both of us have dreamed of attending the same university since we were twelve it won’t erase the fact that he, indeed, is a year older than I am.  So now, at the age of 19, he’s leaving me behind. While I’m staying here for my last year, doing my best to get into that same school, a year from now.  
Wishing. Hoping.  
Wishing.  
Praying he’ll still want me there if I make it.  
  
Today, when he called, his voice had been low and hushed like I had never heard before.  
_Hey Jean, remember that old wishing well?_ , he asked me. _The one where we wished to be friends forever when we were six?_  
_Of course I do,_ I had muttered, confused. _But why?_  
_Meet me there._  
_Now?_  
_Now._  
  
With that, he hung up on me.  
I ran. Of course I did.  
I always ran to him.  
Always. I couldn’t stay still.  
Not when he was waiting for me.  
He never left me hanging.  
So I’d never leave him waiting.  
  
So here he was in front of me, sitting on the edge of that well.  Kissed by the soft, dim blue world of late summer nights, the first touch of autumn painted onto the leafs of the trees behind him - yellow and red taking over the green as the trees slowly prepared for winter.  
Marco’s hands laid on his lap, his form leaning forward and his perfect black hair just as neatly combed as it had always been. His cardigan sleeves were rolled up, revealing those toned arms in such a perfect way that made my heart speed up more than any ten minute run could have. He looked calm, his expression relaxed and eyes set into a distance somewhere far - he did that often, he did. When he got lost in his own little world. World that I would have given anything to get into.  
  
He heard me after a few more steps, turning his gaze to me, a smile flashing onto his features.  
“Jean!” he laughed, dropping down onto his feet. His dark skinny jeans drews out the shape off his ass perfectly. “You didn’t have to run.”  
“You told me to meet you ‘now’”, I wheezed as I slowed down my pace and stopped in front of him. “So I came as fast as I could.”  
“Car sounds faster than running”, Marco noted, but I shook my head.  
“Parents took it, they are out at the movies.”  
“Ah”, Marco laughed. “That sounds nice.”  
“Why aren’t you with your family?” I asked him, coughing unattractively behind my arm right after the words left me. I waved off his worried look. “It’s nothing, just a little chilly tonight.”  
“You should have said so”, Marco scolded me, tugging off his cardigan and handing it towards me with a waiting expression.  “Wear this.”  
“But you will get cold -” I tried to protest, but Marco’s look was stern.  
“Jean, _wear_ it.”  
I sighed and slid my hand into the cardigan he was holding for me like the gentleman he was. Pretending that my fingers only touched him accidentally as I turned to get my hand into the other sleeve.  
  
“Happy?” I asked him, raising my hands to the side. The shirt was loose on my shoulders and a little long at the fingers, reminding me of how he had grown taller than I was a few summers back. Gotten his shoulders broader, too, I realised, looking at his hands that the tank top now revealed, letting my eyes fall onto the little tattoo on his shoulder.  
  
_Be mine, star boy._  
_Just be mine, little star boy._  
_Star boy, star boy._  
_You will never be mine._  
  
“Yep, happy”, Marco answered with his trademark smile. “And as for why I’m not with my family. I wanted to meet you. I hope it doesn’t bother you.”  
“Of course it doesn’t. I just thought you’d want to spend your last precious moments in the country with them.”  
“Sure, they are important to me”, Marco hummed. “But you are important to me, too. My best friend since forever. So I wanted to meet you tonight.”  
_Best friend._  
I smiled,  and turned my gaze down.  
_Just a best friend. Forever best friend and never more._  
“Jean?”  
“Sorry”, I sighed. “I spaced out.”  
“Is everything okay?” he worried, placed his hand on my shoulder.  
I didn’t shake it off. Even though I hated to be touched. I did. But not when he did it.  
He was the exception. He always was.  
“Yeah”, I smiled weakly. “It’s just... so weird to know that you are leaving.”  
“Talk about it”, Marco sighed, giving my shoulder a squeeze before removing his hand. The space where it had been now felt empty and _lacking_.  
“But I’m not going for forever. We will see each other at Christmas.”  
“Christmas is still far away, Marco”.  
“Until then we can always Skype?”  
“Skype is not the same as hanging out with you.”  
“I know. But it’s the best we will have.”  
  
_Hey Marco._  
_When you were 16, why did you stop going to swim with me?_  
_Why did you start turning to the side, then going to the toilet to change your clothes when I stayed over?_  
_Did I make you uncomfortable?_  
_Did you notice how I looked at you?_  
_Was I already looking at you back then?_  
_I was, wasn’t I?_  
  
“But you will come there, too. Next year, won’t you?”  
“If I get in”, I mumbled, feeling my shoulders shrinking down. “I don’t know if I’m good enough.”  
“Jean, you are a good artist”, Marco said, sitting back onto the edge of the well and patting the space next to him. I sat down as he continued.  
“You know you are good. You have your weaknesses but you know how to get around them - I have all the trust in your ability to get in. You inspire me, really.”  
“I inspire you?” I asked him, bewildered. He laughed at my squint.  
“Of course you do, Jean. You are an amazing artist.”  
“Huh”, I mumbled. “You are weird.”  
“Maybe I am. But it doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t mean it.”  
  
I didn’t reply for a while, listening to his steady breath as I watched a few butterflies flying past. Soon it’d be too cold for them, I thought, looking up to the sky. I could see two stars now. Not enough for Ursa Major, not enough to see what gave him his name.  
_Star boy._  
_Don’t leave me, star boy._  
“Are you excited?” I asked, turning to look at him. “About moving, school, the new place?”  
“I am”, Marco smiled. “I will send you a lot of pictures when I can.”  
“Show me the pubs”, I smirked back at him. “And your first gin and tonic shot.”  
“Will do!” Marco laughed, leaning onto his knees and placing his chin onto his hand. “What about you? Excited for the last year?”  
“Why would I be”, I groaned. “I will have to stand all the teachers alone this year. I’m not sure if I’m gonna make it without my freckled bodyguard.”  
“A bodyguard, me?” Marco snorted. “I think you are fully capable of fighting your own fights.”  
“Well, you guard me against teachers. With your angel gaze you make them believe I did nothing wrong even when I did.”  
“I did not help you when you broke Eren Jäger’s nose”, Marco noted. “That trouble you deserved.”  
“Aww come on let it rest. It was two years ago.”  
“I need a bit more than two years to let down you breaking someone’s nose with your painting because ‘he wouldn’t shut up and I already had a shitty day’. I still don’t know how you managed.”  
“Easily. Just swing it down, bam, a broken nose.”  
“Don’t sound so proud about it.”  
“I’m not. But it was a bit easier to break someone’s nose than I’d have imagined. So it was an accident, only meant to shut him up.”  
“You shouldn’t shut up people by hitting them with canvas paintings.”  
“Well, his blood did give the painting a cool extra touch...”  
“Jean!”  
“Okay okay”, I smiled. “But I told him I’m sorry and everything.”  
“And then his sister almost killed you”, Marco noted. “It was beautiful.”  
“Wow, thanks”, I replied and nudged his side. “For liking my brutal almost-slaughter.”  
“Well, I have to admit that it was a beautiful sight.”  
“You don’t even try to hide it, asshat.”  
“Of course I won’t”, Marco smiled. “After all, I’m an honest man.”  
“Yea yea you are”, I snorted back at him. It was true, I guess.  
_You are an honest man._  
_Until I asked you who you like, at least._  
But I can’t bring that up again, not on our last night.  
Can’t ask him why he so sternly refuses to talk about any crushes.  
It hurts that he doesn’t trust me with it.  
But maybe it’s good. Because it’d hurt to know whom he thinks of when he’s alone. Whom he thinks of when he touches himself. Whose name falls off his lips when he comes.  
To know whom he loves like I love him.  
To know who is the one that he wants.  
To know whom his heart belongs to.  
To know who he wishes was there to kiss him goodnight.  
  
I looked to the boy on my side, smile on his lips. He talked to me about the campus, about something I didn’t quite catch, about his degree. He looked so happy, he did.  
_Oi, Marco._  
_Aren’t you sad at all that we’ll have to part?_  
_Won’t you miss me?_  
_Because I already miss you even though you are still right here._  
  
I sighed, slipping my hand into my pocket, searching for a while until my fingers met with the metal I knew to be there.  Marco stopped his speech, looking at me questioningly as I stood up, keeping my back to the well. I looked at him for a moment. letting my eyes linger at the depths of his. Then, I closed my eyes and lifted my hand to my chest, wishing.  
“I hope that my friend, the freckled jesus also known as Marco”, I started, coughing a little. “Or star boy, settles well into his new school. And country.”  
_You are pushing your luck, Jean._  
_You are really pushing it._  
“I hope that he will be happy there, and that he will find whatever he wishes for there. I hope that no-one will be an asshat to him - that’s a special right only I have - and that people will treat him kindly. I hope that he can, and will be happy. “  
_I have to say it._  
_I don’t want to._  
_But I have to say it._  
“And I hope that the one he likes will like him back. I wish that they can be happy together. That they can happily love each other. I wish him well, truly, in this life.”  
I tossed the coin over my shoulder as the words ran out and opened my eyes after the splash confirmed that I had hit my target. I couldn’t look over to Marco. Yet, I could feel his stare burning holes into the side of my face.  
_Did I give it away?_  
_Are you angry at me? Please don’t be angry at me._  
“Do you have another coin?”  
  
I turned to look at Marco as he stood up, facing me and holding out his hand. His face was sad, and I didn’t know why. But it was also determined as he gazed into me, and I dug out another coin from my pocket, wordlessly pressing it into his palm.  
Fighting so hard not to let my fingertips linger on his skin.  
I pulled away and he whispered a breathy thank you before turning, closing his eyes like I had done moments before.  
  
His hand was shaking as he lifted it to his lips and gave the closed fist a small kiss. Then he lowered his hand to stay on his chest, atop his heart like I had done, letting out a shaky breath before straightening himself.  
“I hope”, he started, opening his eyes to give me a hasty glance before closing them again, clearing his throat. Gulping, he shifted his position to a little better.    
" I hope”, he started, his voice barely audible to me. “That the next time I come to visit this well, Jean Kirstein will love me like I love him."  
He tossed the coin behind his back, opened his eyes and turned to look at me. He smiled bashfully, a tint of pink rising onto his cheeks as he rubbed the underside of his nose.  
“Well, I guess that’s out then”, he then said, lowering his hand, looking straight into my eyes. Awaiting, it seemed.  
  
I couldn’t speak.  
Couldn’t let out a sound.  
And I could see that he gave up, his smile fading out as he stepped closer to me and leaned to press his lips gently to my forehead. Just a soft, warm touch for a fraction of a second and the sensation was gone.  
“I’m wishing you well, Jean.”  
He took a step back and I knew he was going to leave.  
I couldn’t let him, so I reached out and grabbed his hand.  
Marco’s eyes flew back to mine, confused.  
I opened my mouth but I still couldn’t get a sound out, so I squeezed my hand tighter around his wrist, frantically searching for the words to tell him.  
“Wait”, I finally managed to get out, letting his hand go. “W-wait a little.”  
  
Marco’s eyes were now curious on mine, and something flashed in them as they softened and he sighed a little ‘oh’ sound.  
“Mm, what is it?” he then asked softly, rising his fingers gently to my cheek. Barely touching me, but he didn’t flinch away when I carefully leaned a little into the touch. Instead, he let his thumb slowly move up and down on my skin, petting my cheek carefully.  
So tenderly.  
I couldn’t understand it. Not this moment. Not at all.  
  
“What is it that you wanted to say, Jean?” he asked, his voice as soft as his touch and I was lost, so lost.  
“Uh”, I mumbled, my heartbeat drowning out anything but his voice. “H-how... you..”  
“Yes?” he breathed, sliding his hand down my cheek to under my chin. “What is it?”  
“H... h-how exactly... do you love me?” I tackled out, dropping my eyes from his.  
_I can’t look at him._  
There was a chuckle.  
Marco’s thumb pressed to the front of my chin as he lifted my face.  
His eyes meeting mine were gentle, with a smile on his lips as he leaned closer. All the way until his nose was lined with mine, his breath on my lips and everything was spinning but yet staying in its place. A carousel of feelings inside of me, lost in counting the freckles dotting his cheeks.  
“Like this”, he then whispered, closing his eyes. Leaning in to kiss me.  
  
_Star boy, star boy._  
_Be mine star boy._  
_Now, and for ever._  
  
His fingers entwined with mine as they closed over the last coin.  
A smile on his lips and the the wrinkle of his eyes as we laughed.  
The coin sparked, as we threw it into the air together.  
  
_I’m wishing we’ll be in love for ever._  
_I’m wishing I’ll be yours for ever._  
  
_For ever and ever._  
_I will love you for ever and ever._  
_My little star boy._  
  
_I will love you for ever._

**Author's Note:**

> ((Bell! Happy birthday to you, sweetie - I hope that this year will bring you tons of happiness♥))
> 
> Beta'ed by the Paranoidwriter.
> 
> I'm not too confident about this fic - I think there was so much I could have gotten out of this prompt ("wishing well") but I didn't do enough hrrrrrr I'm really bad with keeping things short and simple. But I hope that you enjoyed reading it.  
> Thank you for giving it a change!  
> xx


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